Thread: For all husbands and an update from me.

Hang in there Tap.........I have thought about what you have said and I am giveing mine extra attention

Checking in to make sure the wife's are feeling the love. Remember guys, a simple hug or kiss goes a long way in a woman's heart. Throw in an I love you and a passionate kiss and it will make her day.

As for me, I am still trying to rise out of the lowest point of my life. Today is day 57 since I lost my bride and I still cry every single day. I have been starting to eat a bit better and hope that some of the lost weight will start to reappear. I am reading my wife's Bible and while I read most of Job and Genesis I jumped ahead to the New Testament and have read Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, and am now reading 1 Corinthians. It made my day reading Romans as one of my wife's favorite's was Romans 10:9 which I now have memorized, "Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved." If not for my belief in God and the strength He gives me I would not be here right now typing this. I have accepted that only through the power of God will I heal and I am moving forward on an unknown path that He has laid out ahead of me.

Praying for you George. You will rise from this.

I been doing just that. Leaving to go to work yesterday I gave her the normal quick kiss and I love you, and headed for the door. I turned back and hugged her again and made her look me in the eye. I asked her "you know I do really love you, right?". She chuckled and yes, she knows. The chuckle was for you. Not a laugh, but an all-knowing release, because she knew where my words come from. That it was inspired by you. When I got home Saturday night, she asked how your were doing. I told her the truth. I said you looked like hell. Thin face. Sad eyes. Carried yourself different. She said, well I guess so. Hope that is not too harsh for me too say. But it is with no malice. The fact that you are both mentally and physically overwelmed buy Debbie's death is a fine tribute to how special she is to you. I would expect no less. She would be a mess if she lost you.

I hope you aren't beating yourself up, wishing you would have said more words to her about your love. I know you wished you had. Very normal. But don't think she doesn't know. She knew before. She knows now. After discussing it with my wife and my best friend at work (female), they assure me that "They know". Sure, you are correct, they like to here it, but when the lights are out, and they can't sleep and thoughts go deep into themselves, they know if you love them. They know from your actions. The respect. They know it, when they have to bite their tongue when their girl friend at work complains about how her man treats her. She can't tell the whole truth about the love and respect your two shared, for fear of making her friend feel even worse. Unloved people are unhappy. It is hard to hide. And from looking at her pictures, I'd bet that you knew when Debbie wasn't happy with something. She's too strong. Too spirited and confident for you not to know something was on her mind.

Don't regret. Rejoice. Be proud of what you two have. Be proud of yourself. Long before you met her, she's her parents Baby Girl. You brought peace to a parents heart and mind when you brought the spark back into their daughter. Just as you and I pray for, when we think of our little girl meeting her soul mate.

Keep on moving your way. Before you know it the path will appear.

George,still praying,i will be teaching about the life of job sunday,my what a man to have such a strong love for god,god allowed satan to curse all job had and after confronting with god ,the test god allowed him to go thru made him to understand that god is sovien and in control and that he only had a limeted knowledge of god's eternal plan and was completly in control even allowing satan to do his worst and yet god's man could trust god in spike of thing going contrary of what he through god should do ,hebrew says ,i will never leave nor forsake you,ia few years ago struggle with that when the burden was so great and cried out to god and like job i could not get and anser, but found out he was there all the time.then this pass year it got so bad in pain that i through i was not going to make thru the intense pain up to 50 times a day,it got so bad i had to have help to get off comose,but been i had gotten thru the first ordeal i could trust god even if i did not make it and god use it for me to encourage wife whose was losing faith because god had not come thru,and i ould tell her i been this far with god and that he would get glory out of it if we remain faithful,after all that is why he made us and save us to bring him glory and that he will reward our faithfulness in this life or the one to come,to god be thr glory great things he has done,he have to love us much to send his only son to a hell bound sinner as i was,praise his hony name,it do my heard good to see you still loving him soon you will be needed to help others that goes thru same differcultes as one who has first hand experience,muchrather her one who have felt what i have felt,keep on keeping on,he will show you at his appointed time,god bless

Dayton - well said.


Tap - just know that someone 1,000 miles away from you in Minnesota still thinks about you on a weekly basis, even though we've never met in person. Hang in there brother.

While I was out on the lake fishing yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about how much I regret not showing my wife more love and affection. I did so take my wife for granted and she even told me so. It's such a cruel world we live in and you just never know what is going to happen. Just yesterday my mind was telling me that what just happened to me having lost my wife Christmas Day is what happens in movies and to other people, not me. I am still very much struggling to accept the reality of what has happened.

It does help that weeks ago I read a post my wife had made on facebook where she stated that she simply wanted to go into the bathroom and I blocked her telling her that it would cost her a kiss. She puckered up as if it would be one of those pecking kisses but I surprised her and passionately kissed her which I am so grateful that I did as this was a couple of months before Christmas, the day I lost my love, my bride. I know that this warmed her heart and it's unexpected kisses like that that our wife's love.

For some reason my days seem to be getting harder and I am not ashamed to admit that I have cried every single day since Christmas with today being day 67. Reminding other husbands to be romantic with their wife's does comfort me some so please, look your wife in her eyes and tell her that you love her, hold her hand, hug her often, kiss her for no reason and be grateful that you can because I am crying as I type this, as I no longer can.

I am sill remembering you,i know its tough,when my wife left me I struggle for over 10 years ,would not even look at another woman,did not want to live and had to struggle with it all that time and would look back on life and say gene you could have been more kind,loving and the list goes on,but at the time I thought I had been a good husband comparing to others I knew,but now I know you don't compare to others but see your weekness in comparison to Christ,she pass away a few years sgo and it still hurt me ,I had to read the bible much to get strength thru Him and my son,just remember that many are still praying for you,God still have a purpose for you and could be what you are doing now a part of it so keep encouraging us,it helps,thanks,things like this brings out our weakness to help us do what is right to our wives,for many were like me when I was growing up and did not see much love shown by husband and so we thought that was the norm and so we felt like we had done our part,i am learning different