A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor!”

Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”

Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!

Wife: ‘Darling, look. I haven’t worn this in 8 years and it still fits.’
Husband: For God’s sake.
It’s a scarf!

Boss hangs a poster in Office
“I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET”
He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk.
“Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home.”

Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don’t you do that?
Husband: How can I? I don’t even know her.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.