This is in response to losing my beautiful wife on Christmas Day. I am hoping that I have hit rock bottom and am starting my assent. I have lost somewhere around 15-20lbs. I have not been eating much and am resorting to drinking Ensure and protein drinks. It's odd how I always had a nervous stomach, I would go out on first dates and couldn't eat a thing but my first date with Debbie I ate just fine. This has rocked my world like nothing ever has. I commented on my wife's facebook page that I am searching for a direction in life but without Debbie I have none. I did run 4 miles at the ocean front last Wednesday and today I ran 4 miles at home and I went to the gym on Thursday. Where some turn to alcohol and drugs I am turning to running, lifting weights, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I am trying to make sense of this and am proud to say it has only strengthened my relationship with God. I feel that it is now my mission to spread the word to husbands to always tell their wife's that they love them, hug them, and kiss them. I leave you with a card I found that I gave my wife some years ago, this is what I wrote:

Debbie,

This past Sunday at church you leaned into me and looked up at me, I looked at you and thought how beautiful you looked. I started to get teary eyed but managed to blink rapidly so as to not show tears coming from a tough guy. You should know that this was not the first time. On numerous occasions the same has happened. It is a warming feeling to look at you lying in bed next to me, finding you so beautiful, I am a very lucky man. My attraction to you is not only physical but it sure is nice to look at my wife and think what a beautiful woman God has blessed me with. I used to look a the moon and ask God for a soul mate. The other night the moon was bright and I thanked God that he sent me you and that you were in the house besides me. I'll love you forever, George