Funny, except for No. 17. It hits too close to home to be funny.
Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech
in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or
unexpected; frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, there's a relative.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . .
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism...
To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says,
In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder
and harder for me to find one now.
18. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. Do not argue with an idiot; he will drag you down to his level
and beat you with experience.
Dwyane
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary!
SMILE- A curve that can set a lot of things straight!Barnacle Bill, "G", RMGeorge, prefers shiners, Tracker123, RetiredRR, LouisianaFishNut, PawPaw Gene, Ferdi LIKED above post
Funny, except for No. 17. It hits too close to home to be funny.
Mark 1:17 ...I will make you fishers of menPawPaw Gene LIKED above post
I've heard a few of those before...didn't know there was a designated name for them though. Interesting!
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
A will is a dead giveaway.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
I'm reading a book about antigravity and I can't put it down.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
"Proud Member of Team Geezer"
He who runs behind car gets exhausted!!
He who runs in front of car gets tired!!
He who stands on toilet gets high on pot!!
Man who fishes in neighbors pond often catch crabs!!
LOL
DOC.
Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a DAD!!
Those are Confuciusisms.
Mark 1:17 ...I will make you fishers of men