The finality of leaving this life is the empty vessel left with those still here. I can't possibly know what you're feeling but last fall I reconnected with a guy who I worked with for several years in my early 20's. He was always around, Bass fished, I was doing Saltwater fishing. Every once in a while we would fish together though. Well he decided to Crappie fish so I now had someone with the same respect to fish with. We made 2 trips this spring, smoked the crappie both trips, and the NIP tide was coming around again so I was thinking of calling him while working in my shop when the phone rang. I grabbed the phone up and said; "Hey Bud, I was just thinking to call you, the NIP tide is on top of us." His wife was on the other end, didn't even get a word in waiting for me to finish my greeting. Of course He passed away from a heart attack while mowing his grass. Its been 6 months or so now, I was used to seeing him infrequently, but knowing he was around and the finality of knowing we will never fish together again keeps returning to my thoughts.
A day missed fishing we can never get back, I still go, by myself as always, but enjoyed the trip Bon Temps and I made last Monday very much. I personally like the solitude of single pole fishing for crappie unlike Saltwater fishing where 4 guys are on the boat. Now I find I like company crappie fishing too, maybe not every trip but it was just Fun. Life is always teaching some kind of lesson it seems.