Best Lie

[robbor]

I wish it werent so. My buddie and myself were out and had slaughtered the bass we had about 8 bass in the ice chest(alive) that weighed well over 40# when we cam acroos the onle other fisherman on the lake. And the normal bs starts. "catch anything?" I answer to him "Nope only had one bite but missed him" no way was i going to let anyone know my spot.

[Rowdy]

I was fishing from the banks of the mighty muddy Green river in central Ky. The water had a single wake in the center,heading to the bridge ,it stopped and up came the biggest catfish ever! It could not get threw the pilers of the bridge! It managed to back upstream I heard it comming and then it jumped the bridge. Just as it hit the water a real big crappie swallowed him!


Rowdy

P.S. I have more!

[Barnacle Bill]

I don't ever lie about fishing.

[crappie10]

One time my partner and I were getting ready to launch at a bass tournament, when a friend of ours asked us which way we were going, upstream or down? well, I pointed down and he pointed up. we both looked at each other and started to laugh, as my spot was up and his was down.
The guy just turned around and walked off.
JC

[NIMROD]

I carried an older friend drift fishing for catfish. We were rippin them cats a new one! We had caught @ 25+ fish on the first drift. One boat passed close enuff to talk. The guy asks if we were doing any good . Our reply was ''naw''. He proceedes to tell us about his 1 catfish and recommends us to switch baits. We were using turkey liver and he suggest we swap to shrimp. We wound up landing 86 that morning! So every time we went after that ,the joke was we should have used shrimp.

[Castoff]

My family moved to a small town on the Watts Bar Lake when I was about ten years old, to get away from Oak Ridge, perhaps to evade the nuclear threat looming over the city, but mostly to get to a great fishing area. Even the prominent fishing dock on the dike, built to keep the Clinch River out of the town, had sea planes to take folks to the backwaters of Watts Bar for fantastic fishing experiences.
This lake provided many good times fishing, skiing, swimming, riding the TVA river boat waves while swimming across the river, and many, many fish, that Dad and I would clean, and maybe enjoy then or freeze or even have a neighborhood fish fry.
But the fish guts were always a problem, right? Well, being raised on a farm, he would bury the fish guts etc in the area where we had a small garden, and the remains did wonders for the vegetables that followed. During one very hot summer he ran out of space since the garden was producing to the max, and every nook and cranny was used, and overflowing with ripe tomatoes, corn, beans, squash, and the flowers he would also raise, the daliahs being his favorite. He had the omnipotent green thumb.
What to do with the fish guts? He spied the other side of the yard, which had adjoined an old farm, where an old barb wire fence separated the properties.
Actually this entire hill north of the town, which later became mostly a residential area, was a huge farm during the 1800's and commanded a spectacular view where the Tennessee and Clinch Rivers join, named Southwest Point, a military fort during the Indian Wars of the early years. It was here on the fence line where he promptly dug a hole and deposited the fish heads, innards and other parts which were of no more use to us or the fish. He later learned a way to filet a fish so that you have the carcass as one piece plus two skins instead of head, skins and carcass separately. The old dead wood fence posts adjacent to the hole must have been there 100 years but had green sprouts in the morning. Must have been the fish tails.

[Woohdog]

Very nice.

[Fmab]

When I was a newlywed, my sweet bride heard the guys talking about fishing and she told me the biggest lie I ever heard --- YOU CATCH UM ANF I WILL CLEAN UM AND COOK UM. to this day 25 years later she does not know how to clean fish.

FMab

[Bowcatz]

One hot afternoon I went fishing because I was hungry and wanted to eat some fish. Grabbed up my canepole, worm can, and my pocketknife I had found down on the creek after some tourists had left.

Caught some bluegill out of a clearwater stream that ran at the back of the property. I was having all kinds of fun a little kid can have on a sandbar waiting for the next nibble. Suddenly a gust of wind hit me in the back really hard. Sand blew down the sandbar as the trees began to sway upcreek. I realized that a terrible late summer thunderstorm was blowing up behind me. I grabbed by cane pole, worm can, and the tree branch end that I had made a stringer out of that held the bluegill.

Being just a kid, I couldn't run very fast. Plus, I was really hungry. Faint from the heat, fear of the swirling black storm clouds overhead, and lack of food, I fell down flat on my face as big rain drops began to beat me in the back really hard. Realized that some of the pelting was pea-sized hail stones, too. Hungry, I looked at the fish, but I had been raised that you don't eat raw fish for you would get worms.

If I remember right, I started to cloud up and cry like a little girl when a kaboom of thunder and the bright flash of lightening got my attention really quick. Ground lightening struck a dead pine tree right beside me. I mean right beside me! Tired, scared, and panicking, I rolled over and ski-daddled into the woods and down into a deep dark gulley. Fell face down again into the mud and slid to the bottom of the deep gulley when another kaboom of lightening struck near the tree again but hit the ground---right where I had left my homemade fishing tackle.

A faint plume of smoke rose from the dried broomstraw and being more afraid of a forest fire than lightening, I grabbed up a handful of wet mud and ran back to where the lightening had hit. Much to my surprise, the lightening had hit the fish and cooked them. Well, burned most of them, but some were salvageable, so I dropped the mud onto the smoking grass and smeared the rest onto my jeans to clean my hands.

I ate the pieces of cooked fish as fast as I could and went back to the safety of the gulley to wait out the fury of the storm. Shaking from the cold rain, I finally made it home about an hour later. Mom was mad at me because of the mud on my clothes, but atleast I had a full belly.

disclaimer: all the above is a fib.

[hogpaw]

Here it is!