adoption

[David Waters]

after a private message with AC, I decide to go ahead and talk about this in the off topic forum and get some feedback from some of you.

Any of you who have been members for at least 3 years may remember my wife and I going through a very difficult time. To make a long story short, she and I lost a set of triplets in the 24th week of pregnancy. They all lived for a short time, the longest being 17 days. We just recently this year lost another.

We basically don't want to go through any of that again, so we have decided to adopt. We are working with a company called Adaption Advantage based out of Tenn. and Arkansas. Also Texas I think. Some of our freinds used this agency andwere very pleased. They are VERY expensive however, but after researching for months, they seemed to be the most qualified and the one we felt most confortable with. I wont go into great details, but we did decided to be very picky in the child we wanted. It was a personal choice, but the one we felt most comfortable with. In other words, no drug attick mothers, or achohol, ect. It will take longer to match us to a mother because of this.

Anyway, we have payed our money and are waiting for that call. We get monthly updates about how many mothers signed up to give the child up for adoption, but the agency said realisticly it would be around Christmas they thought. Just a guess.

Anyway, I wanted to know how many Crappie.com members have adopted either though an agency or otherwise. I would like to hear about some of
your experiences and some things we might expect to encounter.

Thanks

[pstone]

I have no experience in that field, but I'll pray that everything turns out like you want it to.

I am also sorry for you and your wife's loss.

[Crappie Reaper]

I have no experience in that field, but I'll pray that everything turns out like you want it to.

I am also sorry for you and your wife's loss.

What he said David, wish you and your wife the best!

[anchorpuller]

My daughter is adopted. We didnt' seek her out though, she came to us through circumstances. It was a quick, easy, relatively painless judicial procedure.

Wish I could help ya on all the processes and such, but I don't know anything about agencies and all that.

I hope all goes smoothly and quickly for you though!

[DRPEPPER]

David
My heart goes out to you. I was thinking just this morning why God allows some things to happen. Some say it is a test so the world will learn from your reactions. I am tired of being tested as I am sure you are.
I have custody of my grand children while my son and his girlfreind try to get their act together. They are the most beautiful kids you would ever want to see. I am sure their mother smoked meth while they were in the womb. These kids turned out perfect inspite of her sins. They are being evaluated in everyway to make sure the previous enviroment has not scarred them. I tell you that to say not all dopers produce afflicted babies if that is your fear of adopting one.
Stories like yours just fuels my anger at the a- - holes that have perfect babies and do not realize what a blessing they are. Right now I want to make them listen to your story and then whip their butts for trying to screw it up. I would even give you the honor of watching for I know you have asked why these people don't appreciate this gift from God.
Thanks for sharing your story and reminding the rest of us.
Don

[Bowfin]

Thaks for sharing David. My wife and I lost our first child. It was very difficult, even though it was only a short term pregnancy. The hopes and dreams of what that child will become die along with the child. Births at church, baby showers, Mother's Day and Father's Day all became painful for or a long while. It was a struggle, but Jesus pulled us through and blessed us with another pregnancy. This time everything went well, but there was always that fear that we would lose him through the entire pregnancy. We now have a wide-open 6 year old that tries our patience and tugs our heartstrings constantly.

I have a close friend who lost their first child the same time we lost ours. They were told they could never have children, then they concieved and lost their baby. We both struggled through it together. When my wife was pregant with our son, I felt I had to be reserved to protect his feelings, since they were struggleing with adoption and going to fertility specialists and couldn't conceive. They were told it was impossible for them to have a baby. When it was time for my little boy to be born, my friend was on vacation. I called him to tell him the news, that we had a baby boy, but I didn't want to sound too excited, because I didn't want to rub salt in his wound. Then he told me that they had just adopted a baby girl, and she was born the exact same day as my little boy was born, and we both cut loose. We couldn't contain our excitement. He congratulated me, I congratulated him, and I stood in amazement and awe at how God works.

Ironically, shortly after they adopted the their little girl,they conceived and had a healthy son. They were so concerened about having more children than they could handle, that he later had a vasectomy. The impossible to the possible, that's how Jesus works.

They used a Christian adoption agency since there were so many agencies that were more concerend with getting paid than helping the children find homes. I'll try to get back and post the agency he used. The cost was mainly to cover medical care for the mother and lawers fees.

As a side note, I never realized how many people lost their children befoe birth until we lost our first child. My grandmother lost her first, two of my sister-in-laws lost theirs, and many folks at church have lost their children during pregnancy. It happens alot more than is talked about, and alot more than you may realize.

God bless you down whichever path you may choose. My prayer is for a smooth adoption transaction and a child in your arms soon.

[M1Tommy]

I'm not sure what a "perfect" baby or child is, but I can assure you all that they're all gifts from God. My best wishes and prayers for y'all.

Tommy (father of 2 sons, one 11 year old munchkin and one low-functioning autistic 8 year old munchkin)

[Crappisaurusrex]

We have the same circumstances as puller. After we got into it and opened our eyes there are a bunch of kids they need someone to take care of them. Good Luck to ya'll!:D

My daughter is adopted. We didnt' seek her out though, she came to us through circumstances. It was a quick, easy, relatively painless judicial procedure.

Wish I could help ya on all the processes and such, but I don't know anything about agencies and all that.

I hope all goes smoothly and quickly for you though!

[father of 4]

David my heart also goes out to you and your Wife. Anyone can be a parent but only special people can be a Mom or a Dad. Blood doesnt matter its the love that counts. I wish you and your Wife much luck and I bet you 2, when you find your child make a Great Mom and Dad.

[zappaf19]

I was adpoted @ 2 1/2 years and my brother @ 6 days. My parents were always open with us about us about being adopted. People ask me if I want to find my "real parents" ? My answer is "I live/ lived with my real parents" The people that gave birth to me had a good reason to give me up I would guess. I think I have had a better life with my parents than my birth people could have given me! Don't hide the fact that you adopted your kids. As you will or do love them as much or more than the people that gave birth to them. Just my 2 cents.
Bill