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Thread: Recall notice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    6,665
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    Default Recall notice





    RECALL NOTICE:
    The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
    This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

    This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

    Some of the symptoms include:

    1. Loss of direction
    2. Foul vocal emissions
    3. Amnesia of origin
    4. Lack of peace and joy
    5. Selfish or violent behavior
    6. Depression or confusion
    7. Fearfulness
    8. Idolatry
    9. Rebellion


    The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

    The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
    The number to call for repair in all areas is:P-R-A-Y-E-R.

    Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCEprocedure.

    Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

    No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
    1. Love
    2. Joy
    3. Peace
    4. Patience
    5. Kindness
    6. Goodness
    7. Faithfulness
    8. Gentleness
    9. Self control

    Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

    WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

    DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
    - GOD


    P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and know that you may contact the Father at any time by 'Knee mail'! Because HE Lives!


    Everything you do, do for God
    Because everything God does, He does for you





    DO-GOODER EXTRADINAR :p

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    W Little Rock
    Posts
    4,253
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    Good one Beaver.
    DP
    I am a heterosexual male. 2 Chronicles 7:14
    "If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Carthage, Texas, United States
    Posts
    280
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    Good to see on here... thanks guys!
    For the love of Kids and FISHING!

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