J.C.Korn

[Yates]

J.C.Korn and his wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

J.C. picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?'

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans

'Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you're doing?' asks J.C.

'It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,'

'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half that price.'

[Buckeyemusky]

It's FUNNY cause it's true

[Yates]

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.

Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

' Bubba, where'd you git that truck?!?

Tina give it to me' Bubba replied.

'She give it to ya?

I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya,but a new truck?'

'Well, Jimmy Jones, let me tell you what happened.
We wuz drivin' out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowheres.
Tina pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,

'Bubba, take whatever you want.'

So I took the truck! '

[AEFISHING]

and to think, you got Tina and a little Gold Star!

[Yates]

In Kansas a farmer's wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed the telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and then the phone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman could see that the dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
the connection to the ground rod was loose.
The dog was receiving 12 volts of signaling current when the number was dialed. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring
Which shows that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.