Long long ago, at a reservoir really close to Springfield Ohio ventured out in the early AM in a rather strong snow storm with a cargo of 8 stoutly secured “ C” trees to go fully under the fuel pier in Sade same reservoir’s Marina. Skillfully placed the flatbed Ranger as close as possible to said fuel pier and non stop grabbed each, carried it out to it’s final resting spot and laid down flat and shoved each by the block and trunk as far under as could, from farthest corner to the nearest. As the last went under, ever so satisfied, stood up, dusted off the snow and then heard these very LOUD words: “ You are under ARREST !!! Put your hands in the air, turn around and walk towards me NOW !!! I have my weapon drawn !!!” Somewhat surprised, fully complied, walked backwards, was cuffed, and tossed face down and was told “ You are under arrest for the murder of ( an unfortunate visiting Kentucky woman recently in the news ) and where are the rest of her body parts ? “ Realizing that her killer had been leaving her remains in several SW Ohio State Parks marinas, suddenly was rather discomforted by the overall incriminating circumstances in which was suddenly faced with, especially as he certainly had his weapon expertly on me while searching the dependable if well worn Ranger still running, the cold flatbed littered with damning pine needles. And to make maters “ better “, whom should appear but my arch nemesis the head Park Ranger whom expertly slammed on his brakes and put his brand new cruiser ( a later story ) and instantly recognized my own trusty if rusty steed and all but literally fell from his seat, laughing maniacally and with a sincerest joy at the sight he was so gleefully beholding. Both the Deputy and myself watched in stunned silence as the Park Ranger ever so sincerely brayed and haw hawed a bit too much for our comfort as he walked right up to me, and upon seeing me laying in a puddle handcuffed just REALLY lost it for several more minutes. Upon taking his sweet ass time regaling his composure somewhat, he proceeded to inform the still incredulous Deputy that I was not the suspect that they had set a careful trap for, that alas “ He’s the local Taliban pain in our asses fish attractor terrorist “ to which promptly and gratefully accepted full responsibility for and was ready to just plead Guilty to and await my day in Court. Unfortunately the Deputy, having just had his best chance for a Meritorious Officer of the Year “ go poof, he admittedly was somewhat harsh in his verbal tirade about my own life choices, seeming absolute lack of morals and/ or decently, questioned by intelligence and genetics, all while still seriously waving his still cocked weapon. To which the head Park Ranger began to sound like a horror movie sound effect audition, laughing so hard he actually became short of breath, but grinning and glaring in a very unfriendly manner. The pissed off Deputy put his still cocked weapon in his holster, jerked open his cruiser door, got in, slammed the door and peeled off, myself, now thoroughly soaked and shivering got up and politely asked the head Park Ranger if he had keys to the Deputy’s handcuffs, to which he again further burst out laughing and howling even louder, if it were possibly. To make matters ‘ worse’ ( ? ), he comes the Deputy again, finally remembering his handcuffs which he none too gently removed as he freshly berated me to no small end. To make a long story even longer, was verbally informed of the 1st of my 2 life time banishments from Buck Creek State Park… and yes, unfortunately it’s a true story. It’s far better to just get permission…