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The Talking Dog
A guy is driving around the back woods of Missouri and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale '
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.. I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars?!! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap. '
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He must also be part fish retriver to tell stories like that.
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A kid goes off to college and takes his dog with him. The kid gets drinking and gambling and needs money so he writes home and tells his dad there is a psychology professor that can teach his dog to talk but it would cost $1000 for the training. The dad has visions of getting the dog on a bunch of TV shows so he sends the kid the money. Thanksgiving rolls around and the kid realizes when he returns home his dad will want to hear the dog talk. The kid starts the drive home and thinks maybe he had better get rid of the dog before he gets home. Upon his arrival the dad steaks to the car to hear the talking dog. He was quite dismayed to find there was no dog. Naturally, the dad wants to know what happened to the dog. The kid told his dad that on the way home the dog got talking about the dad and how much time he spends at the young widow's home down the road. The dad turns pale and said, "I hope you shot that mother."
