I want to know

Which one of you gewbers called the man on me?



Here's the story,
Saturday after the tournament, Yikess and I were headed up the highway. A Mississippi Department of Fisheries Wildlife and Parks truck passes us in the left lane. I'm doing the speed limit of course. After he passed, he started slowing down and fell in behind me. A couple of miles down the road, the blue lights came on. I tell Yikess that Mr Green Jeans is pulling us over.
I pull to the side of the road and a big ole boy walks up to my window.


To be continued:

Keep in mind that I'm pulling Yikess' boat with my truck. Sippi trailer license and MO truck license.
I roll down the window and the conversation went sumptin like this:
GW: Howdy, y'all been fishin?
Me, (turning around and looking at Yikess' boat): Uh, ya.
GW: where at?
Me: Washington.
GW: Do any good?
Me: Naw, only two fish all day.
GW: you mean you caught fish all day but only had two keepers?
Me: nope, only caught two keepers all day!!!
GW: (snicker snicker) where y'all from?
Me: well he's from Olive Branch, I'm for Burfordville.
GW: BURFORDVILLE???? Are you the one they call Speck??
Me: Ummmm, maybe
GW: well I need to check those coolers in your truck.
Me: go ahead but don't knock over my washing machine back there.

To be continued:

So Mr. Green Jeans looked in the coolers in the truck then looks in the boat. He checked the livewells and everything. Then he walked up on Yikess side of the truck.
GW: you must be the one they call Yikess.
Yikess: So what if I am.
GW: Why do you have to go all the way to MO to get a Fishin partner?
Yikess: nobody else will fish with me plus he's a good net man.
GW: uh huh, well I helped myself to one of y'all's Diet Cokes from your cooler.
Me: that's fine as long as it was Yikess'
GW: I know you two are up to sumptin but I can't figure it out. What ever it is, don't let it happen again. I'll let y'all go with a warning this time.
Yikess: Bite.........
Me: hush Yikess!!! Yes sir!! Thank you.

After he pulled away, I say, "I wonder what that was all about?
Yikess says, " you need to get you a set of sippi license plate for your truck!!!

To be continued:

After sleeping on it and getting over the initial shock, I remembered more of the conversation.
GW walks up.
Me: Good morning ossifer, are you selling tickets to the GW Ball?
GW: Let me tell you something boy, GW's don't have............Hey are you some kind of smart *** or sumptin?
Me: No sir, actually my wife thinks I'm more of the dumb variety.
GW: Uh huh, so you say y'all only caught two fish huh? Are you kin to a guy named Wannabe?
Me: Hummm Wannabe you say? Don't believe I've ever heard of him. Sound familiar to you Yikess?
Yikess: doesn't ring a bell.
GW: I just thought a no fish catchin GEWBER like y'all would be related.
Me: Hey, that ain't fair, we caught two fish. Wannabe is only good for one!!!!
GW: I thought you said you ain't never heard of him?
Me: Oh ya.........could we change the subject?

To be continued.

GW: You are some kind of smart ***!!! I ought a drag you outa that truck and whoop yo butt right here on the side of the highway!!!
Me: Please officer, we had our butts whooped bad enough at Washington already.
Yikess: Do it officer, he needs a good whoopin!!
Me: Shuddup Yikess. Let me handle this.
Me: So uh Sir, how the big feets situation round these parts?
GW: How'd you know.....err uhh.... That's confidential....... I can't say anything or I'll have to shoot ya.
Yikess: Tell him, tell him!!!
Me: I said Shuddup Yikess, let me handle this!!! It's not for me officer. I was asking for a buddy. Forget I said anything.
GW: dang right you better forget about it if you know what's good for you!!!!

To be continued.

GW: Whatcha got in them coolers back there?
Me: uh nuttin.
GW: I still need to check em.
Me: OK, let me skootch that washing machine outa the way for you.
GW: much oblige.
Me: no problem sir. I'll just sit right here on top of it to stay outa your way.
GW: that's mighty thoughtful of you.

To be continued:

GW: Why ya carrying around a washing machine in the back of yo truck?
Me: cause it won't fit inside the truck.
GW: that ain't what I meant.
Me: Oh, my bad. I carry it around for a good luck charm.
GW: that's about the stewpidest good luck charm I ever heard of. Couldn't you find a rabbits foot or four leaf clover or sumptin?
Me: Naw, the big feets done ate all the rabbits and four leaf clovers back home.
GW: Look boy, I done warned you once about talkin about the Igbay Eetsfay.
Me: Huh, my pig Latin ain't so good sir.
GW: it means stop branging up Big you know who!!!!
Me: Oh Ya, sorry bout that.

To be continued:

GW: So what's yo name anyway.
Me: Who me?
GW: Ya you!! Who else is sittin on top of their good luck washin machine?
Me: Good point. My name is......um......Andy. Ya that's it, Andy Troller. Middle name is G3.
GW: Have I ever dealt with you before Mr. Troller?
Me: OMG I hope not!!!

To be continued:

GW: So where do you live Mr. Troller?
Me: How the heck should I know, I ain't never been there.
GW: I knew it. You really are a smart ***.
Me: yes Sir, I guess your right.
GW: I'm gunna ask you one more time. What are y'all up too?
Me: I'm not really sure but if you tell me, I'll believe you. You the one packing that Smith MnP .40 cal.

To be continued:

GW: Are you lying to me boy?
Me: Its hard to tell Sir. I don't believe most of the stuff I say myself. Heck, I gotta get someone else to call my dog for me cause he don't believe me either.
GW: You're givin me a headache boy!!!
ME: Sorry bout that Sir. Must be sumptin going around. Yikess has had one ever since I picked him up Friday.
Yikess: That's the dang truth!!!!
Me: Can I offer you a sammich or sumptin?
GW: No thanks, I know you're up to sumptin, I'm just trying to figger out what it is.
Yikess: Can I try on your Smokey the Bear hat and have Speck....I mean Andy (making quatation marks with his fingers) take a piture of it for next years calender.
GW: No you can't. Don't you start with me too.
Yikess: Fine, but you're missing a chance to be famous!!!

To be continued:

GW: Well. what ever y'all are up too, I cant figger it out. I'm gunna let you go with a warning this time. What ever it is, don't do it again!!!
Me: Thank you Sir. By the way, do you know where the nearest Mickey D's is at?
GW: There's one right back there in Cleveland. Easy to find as long as some out a state gewber don't take up 4 parking spot with his truck and boat.
Yikess: Officer, do you know sumbody named MO Money by chance?
GW: I've heard of that gewber also. We think he's the one who tipped us off bout you two. I'm outa here!!! Yikess, Speck or Troller or what ever the heck your name is, Y'all be out of town before sun down!!! I mean it!!!
Me and Yikess: Yes Sir. Have a nice day officer!!!