Adventures with Gnomar

There aren’t too many things in this world that make me smile more than the look on a Gnome’s face when you see one perched on the stoop at someone’s house. Heck, the Travelocity Gnome makes me laugh every time I see his ridiculous commercials on TV.

Over the years we have had several Gnomes grace our front steps. From the one that was solar powered and waved his little hand at you in the sunlight and brought my then two year old daughter so much joy, to the one with his pants around his ankles mooning any suspecting visitors from the bushes next to the steps. All of them have seemed to have a mind of their own. One minute they are smiling at you, the next they magically appear in the deer camp outhouse! In the end, I am never quite sure of their demise. I think they are starting an Army in the woods next to my house and someday will overrun my place but that is for another time.

This year, to ensure my Gnomes didn’t disappear; we decided to get two of them. They are twin brothers. The first one we called “Gnomar”. The second (and appears to be not as bright) we decided to name “Cletus”. Cletus has been relegated to door guard duties and graces the front porch holding a sign that reads “Go Away”. You can turn it around and it does say “Welcome” but I doubt that will seldom be used. Gnomar on the other hand, gets to go with me just about everywhere (mainly because he showed up in my truck one day and I didn’t have a choice).
On Saturday, Gnomar decided that we should go crappie fishing. Although I don’t have a PFD for him, he assured me that he can swim and has taken a boaters safety course.
Here he is ready to go for a ride.


We hook up the boat and head to the store for some ice. When I return, this is what I find:


“I think someone ate your Big Texas Roll”.
He is already on my bad side.
I did find out that Gnomar is excellent at launching a boat.


He was however relegated to navigator for the remainder of our trip.


Here he is heading through a tunnel connecting two lakes.


We get to a spot that looks good and Gnomar says to fish in 18 foot of water but only 2 foot off the bottom. I look at my electronics and see a thermal cline just about 2 foot off bottom. I refuse to listen to a gnome. Brian on the other hand is taking all the hints and is quickly rewarded with the first crappie.


Gnomar is now giving Brian tips on what baits to use.


After a half dozen decent crappies, I decide that his information is accurate and lower my jigs to the thermal cline. We ended up with a dozen Crappies and one decent bluegill that Gnomar held for a picture.


Stay tuned for more adventures with Gnomar. We might even have a guest appearance from Cletus!