Speeding Ticket

[Ranger R61]

Time to lighten up a little bit.

Subject: FW: Speeding Ticket

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.
The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour.
The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.
Back at the CHPs Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.
The reply came back in true USMC style: "Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.
The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster. Thank you for your concern."
Semper Fi.

[LBM]

Very good thanks for the chuckle.:D

[Fatman]

That was a good one, here's another one on speeding

Keep this in your car it might help!!

While I was "flying" down the road (at 10 mph over the speed limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh, yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

Clearly caught off guard, the cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well, I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then, with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in. And then I slowly but surely stretch until it's about six feet wide."

"And just what the heck do you do with a six-foot a33333e?" The cop demanded.

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ...."

Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00
The look on the cop's face: PRICELESS

Enjoy

Fatman

[Jeepster04]

Cool! :D

[father of 4]

Both were great