TO ALL WHO Have Been, Or Want To Be In MO

[duane]

Now you all will know where I'm comin from.....
this explains why this hillbilly is the way I am

TO ALL WHO Have Been, Or Want To Be In MO

For all of you who can relate to living in MO (even if it was a long time ago or of you've only lived there a little while!) Things I've learned from living in Missouri.

~ Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Missouri

~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Missouri, plus a couple no one's seen before.

~ Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

~ Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

~ If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

~ A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

~ Onced and Twiced are words.

~ It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

~ People actually grow and eat okra.

~ "Fixinto" is one word.

~ There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and Then there's supper.

~ Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals... and you start drinking it when you're 2.

~ Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

~ "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

~ You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what Time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

More about Missourians.... You know you're from Missouri if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A! /C" in the same day.
3. You know what a mule is.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage ... and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, B B Q and catsup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season and the first day of trout fishing is a national holiday. (of course!)
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
15. You know whether another Missourian is from east, west, or Middle Missouri as soon as they open their mouth or by the barbecue they eat.
16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite pass time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
18. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
19. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from MO and those who just wish they were.

[jimbo]

You forgot one thing. Crappie is the only white meat.

My wife and I caught our limit at Truman on Saturday. They were still pretty deep. About 12 to 18 feet deep. Caught nearly all of them on either a white tube jig or a white swimmin' minnow with glitter on it. Most were 11 to 13 inch and all females still had their eggs.

[shadow]

Hey duane, they don't call yall the "show me state" for nothing! LOL! With the excepetion of a couple of these you could actually be talking about Louisiana ! LOL!!

[ShortStorie]

... and you know it's really pronounced "missoura"

[CrappieOutlaw]

I agree with most of that but im tellin ya even in the deepest parts it is never a buggy its always a cart......to far west........and there are two things people in our county dont share............(mary jane) and mushrooms...

[xbht]

I agree with most of that but im tellin ya even in the deepest parts it is never a buggy its always a cart......to far west........and there are two things people in our county dont share............(mary jane) and mushrooms...

hmmm...may have to go fishing with you Crappie Outlaw. lol.

[TAE73]

Or see a boat like this one on the water............

[xbht]

bet he caught more fish than me last weekend. lol

[CrappieOutlaw]

Stop posting pictures of me on the net!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............that about how I feel right now