You might be a redneck....
Well; I figure I had better tell this story before Mrs DP does at the next camp....
We have had a terrible time with critters eating Barney the cat's food. I have shot two possums and a raccon in the last couple of months. I don't think they hurt anything; Mrs DP just don't like feeding them. The possums are easy. You can just slip up on them. But, those coons are lightning fast when you are detected slipping up on them.
Last week just as I was about to go to bed, I noticed a couple of coons eating barney's food. I had already removed my contacts so things were a little blurry; (in my defense). I lined the sights of my 22 up on one of them and pulled the trigger. I may have missed with this shot. But, that coon came right at me and stopped about 10' in front of me and started doing a little dance. I figured a shot to the heart would not be too messy. That thing really went nuts with that shot. So, the next one was to the head which created a bloody flip flopping mess.
When all of the commotion susided, I could hear a spewing sound. First thing that went through my mind was Mrs DP's refridgerator on the other side of the wall. Sure enough I found a hole in the siding. But, instead of freon, it was water from the 1/2" pipe I had shot. To make matters worse, the bullet just knicked the pipe, and logged into her refridgerator.
When I pulled the fridge out to inspect, sure enough I could see the bullet had went into it. Luckily for me, it didn't hit anything vital and is still working fine. I was able to make repairs to the water line and all was well. Except for my embarrassment and Mrs DP's butt chewing for shooting her house and refridgerator. My lesson learned is to allways have my vision corrected before I shoot and to consider what I might hit should I miss my target.
Now when Mrs DP tells this story, she always incudes "You might be a redneck if you have ever shot your refridgerator".
DP
I am a heterosexual male. 2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."