Dumbo Columbo............

[Ranger690]

Ever come really, really close to making a collosal Axx of yourself. No, I don't mean just another day of stuff I regret saying. But coming right to the brink of OMG WTH, local news stardom? Well, I came close.

This evening, right after dark, I'm at my local Walmart about 5 miles from home. When I left, girl was at the house behind us playing with a school friend. This house is the grand parents. Don't know much about them. Met 'um but thats it. I get a call from my wife. She wants to know if it's okay with me if girl goes to get ice cream with them. I say sure and ask where they are going. Well, he he he, they are coming up just a few doors down from the Mart. So I decide to park and spy. Would be a good time to see how girl acts with other people and make sure I don't see anything I don't like about the neighbors. So, stealth mode I go. Giggling to myself. They show and get yogurt cups to go. I figure, I'll follow and see if I approve of the way they drive with one-half of my soul in their car. All seems well.

Their mini van head to the far right lane which is a right turn only and we are only half way home on this road. Right turn signal and I'm thinking "where the heck are they going. You can't get home thru there". Right turn.....a quarter mile.......right turn into some apartments. I follow wondering. In they go, make a 180 and I think "ha. I'm busted. They saw me and pulled my chain.". Nope, they park and I duck in an open space maybe 70 yards away. Grandpa gets the two little girls out still holding their cups and across the parking lot they go. I'm not going to lie to you. My heart went to thumpin. Muscles tight. Sweat. Trembling. I picturing every episode of Special Victims Unit that ever crossed my eyes.

Funny how many terrible things can cross your mind in 10 seconds. Did I mention that I don't really trust people? I'm cold now and can feel my heart in the side of my neck. What do I say? Everything from "hey, where yall going?" all the way to "Back away from my daughter while the laser dot bounces on his chest to the rythem of my heart". I'm dialing my wife. Thank you God, that she answered. I asked if they were doing anything other then icecream. She replies "yea, they are going to the other girls apartment to drop some stuff off at her moms." Thank you God. Thank you that the call went thru. Thank you that she wasn't up stairs away from her phone. Thank you that the Grandparents had told her of the plan. If not, in two more heart beats, I would have topped all other stupid things I have done thus far combined.

OMG I was a shaking, sad sack. Relieved. Embarrased. Sick. Ashamed. Scared. Sweaty. I honestly don't know if my trembling legs would have got me across the parking lot or dropped me like a stone had I taken a step. I got myself together and did follow them home. Getting home a few minutes after them like nothing ever happened.

Sorry this is so long. But it still seems sur-real. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dayton

[Boscoe]

I kmow you were freaking out but if more parents paid attenion to what was going on in their kids lives things would be a lot different. Now how long before she starts dating?

[Ranger690]

Well, she is 9 right now. So only 20-30 years from dating now!!!!

[Boscoe]

Well, she is 9 right now. So only 20-30 years from dating now!!!!

Well whenever it is maybe you, her brother, Uncle Howard, and Gramps could just happen to be having a gun cleaning party in the living room when her date shows up. A backhoe on a trailer out front will add to the effect. I dated a girl in high school who's dad was a old school Navy Frogman before there were SEALs. While she was getting ready he showed me his collection of combat tomahawks, knives and other edged instruments of distruction and was telling me how much better it was to kill someone up close and quietly instead of using firearms. She called me this past summer after she found out about my divorce, said we should meet up for coffee and talk about old times. I asked if her dad was still alive, she said yes, I said NO! I'm still scared of that guy.

[Ranger690]

hahahahahahahahahaha. I'd like to see that on the big screen.

[Chasing Ghosts]

Remember our conversation on her dating.....


Meeting the boy the first time.....
Cleaning Shotgun
shovel in corner
big bag of lyme
tarps
deserted back roads

[Chasing Ghosts]

lol Bosco I like your version better

[Ranger690]

I got it Doug. And maybe have the tied-to-the-table revange scene from Law Abiding Citizen playing on the TV.

[Chasing Ghosts]

Ummm.... I have a real human skull you could borrow... nah... ovrkill.

[crappiefarmer]

I have already scared one boy off from My Daughter. We were in Wally world. This boy was going to come up and say Hi to My daughter until he saw me with her. he told Kristen at school the next day that I scared him to death. I told her good. That was an easy one. I can see slamming heads into the door frame, loading asses full of buckshot in my future. Let one say something smart and show disrespect to me and I will knock Him into the next dimension. I will break his ass off on my foot. When I got through, he would not have a tooth left in his mouth. I would have to be bailed out of jail. I ain't got nothing on someone going to jail as long as it is for the right reasons.

Ranger Danger, I completely understand the anxiety You felt. If I found out some old fart had special plans for My daughter, I would find the tallest tree in NC and hang him from it, then douse him in gas and burn him. Then rip off his head and crap down his neck. Ain't got no use for some POS like that.CF