Joke of the Day

[Kansasoutdoorsman]

Two women were sitting quietly one day, minding their own business.

[SCOTTY1094]

When Does That Ever Happen?

[Ronald Meeder]

Only after death.

["G"]

Two women were sitting quietly one day, minding their own business.

Yeh right :rolleyes:

[Lucky_Livewell]

I guess Tiger is now blaming his Dad for his infidelity problems.....

Apparently, his Dad always told him to concentrate, focus only on golf, and screw everything else......:D:D

["G"]

Got to blame somebody .......you know its not his fault :rolleyes:

[drifter106]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, 'Business trip or pleasure?'

She turned, smiled and said, 'Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston '

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,'What's your business role at this convention?'

'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'

'Really?' he said. 'And what kind of myth s are there?'

'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best..

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.'

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
'I'm sorry,' she said, 'I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.'

'Tonto,' the man said, ' Tonto Goldstein , but my friends call me Bubba....

[springhillwantabe]

do you know what work is? work is something people do that don't know how to fish

[WaterWitchin]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“Well, you’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“For reading a book?” she replies.

“Ma’am, you’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her again.

“I’m really sorry officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, yes, I know, but the way I look at it, you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start fishing at any moment. So, I’ll have to take you in and write you up Ma’am.”

“Well, if you do that, I’ll charge you with sexual assault!” says the woman.

“But, I haven’t even touched you,” says the Game Warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day Ma’am,” and he left.

[WaterWitchin]

Two guys from Johnson County are quietly sitting in a fishing boat sucking down beer when suddenly Mel says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."