Thread: You might be a redneck if (this is not a shoer post)

I am positive that many of you will double check the poster associated with this post after reading on....I will assure you that Shoer has not hacked my account and posting from it.



Tired of the toe nails snagging on my socks. Time for a trim. Can't find any clippers though and wifey says "no way, uh uh you aren't using my nice cilppers from my pedicure kit on those nasty toes!"

What's a fella to do?


Next best thing he can think of I reckon. Go find the tool box.






Rather proud of my ingenuity, I rank this slightly ahead of the "using keys to scratch inside ears" method.

Sweet Mother of Samarai Pedicures, SNAGGING yur socks? Those socks must look like Freddy Krueger went completely off on em. You did good though and that IS ingenuitive. An electric fillet knife may have been suitable for them cheese cutters yur growin.
Tell the truth now, you smelled em & tasted em dint ya?
You let em git that long again just call me, I got the perfect tools for those talons. I'm feeling a little generous considering whats going to happen to yur AZ Cards next week.

Dont make excuses for this post Mike. This is just the kind of stuff I look for on Crappie.com. I am not interested in how bass fisherman or Bhuddist monks trim their toe nails, I wanna know how bona fide crappie anglers do it. Thank you for a great post.

Looks like you had some tubers growing under that big feller you call a toe.

Originally Posted by dustdew

Looks like you had some tubers growing under that big feller you call a toe.

Which is exactly why my wife wouldn't let me touch her cutters....can't say I blame her.


Shoer, I got that gleam in my eye when I just happend to see those wire cutters on my desk.......6 inches away from my digital camera....so I had to post


And I forgot about our epic battle of the titans next week! Arizona clinched the NFC West today and a playoff spot....whereas your guys......well....they barely beat the hapless Lions. Looks like good ol' Gus got hurt so we'll probably get Tavaris.....See ya next week bucko!

How in the heck do you operate them "clippers" with that deformed hand? Ya aint got but 3 fingers and no thumb.
Now I'm wondering if you posted the pic of yur normal foot because yur self-conscious about havin 7-1/2 toes on yur other foot? I'm gonna have to look atcha closer next time I see ya and make sure you got the proper compliment of ears, eyes, etc...

How does yur ol lady letcha git up close & personal with her, sportin nails like that? You better have her blood type handy and make sure she is up to date on her tetanus shot if you ever sink one of them babies in her at the moment of impact! Poor girls' legs probly look like a cats' scratchin' post.

For petes sake, put some industrial-strength nail clippers on yur stocking stuffer list Mike. I trim less off some horses' hooves man.

Okay, your wife decides if and when you can use clippers? And now I read that you can't make the bash 'cause of your other boss? Dude, you got to get your self straight. Man Up!

1. Use her clippers. Give her the look that dares her to say a word. If she does, cut her off. No snippy.....no wickky. And stick to your guns. Don't cave in for at least 20 hours or so.

2. Fish the bash. Then go into work the next day like nothing happened. Just like you were there at work. If anyone asks, just swear you were there and you just never crossed paths with the person. If they tell you your fired, just laugh and have a seat. Smile and say....dare ya to call my wife and tell her that!

So, just to recap. Stop being a wuss. Fish with the men. Maybe go by Goodwill and get yourself some pants to wear around the house! At worst, put a few staples up the middle of your skirt and call them capri pants.

Signed,

Devis-Dayton....the man of the House!











The fact that I can't fish the bash because my wife has her company breakfast should have no bearing on the above post

LOL God, I love this place

You coulda advised him a little better if ya ax me, Devis-Dayton. I'm talkin about the capri pants. Has it crossed yur little mind that if poor ekim goes out like that wearing anything that vaguely resembles an engineers cap he'll git mistaken for Corker?

This is from someone that will be wearing an apron On Saturday and NOT fishing!

Originally Posted by Ranger690

Okay, your wife decides if and when you can use clippers? And now I read that you can't make the bash 'cause of your other boss? Dude, you got to get your self straight. Man Up!

1. Use her clippers. Give her the look that dares her to say a word. If she does, cut her off. No snippy.....no wickky. And stick to your guns. Don't cave in for at least 20 hours or so.

2. Fish the bash. Then go into work the next day like nothing happened. Just like you were there at work. If anyone asks, just swear you were there and you just never crossed paths with the person. If they tell you your fired, just laugh and have a seat. Smile and say....dare ya to call my wife and tell her that!

So, just to recap. Stop being a wuss. Fish with the men. Maybe go by Goodwill and get yourself some pants to wear around the house! At worst, put a few staples up the middle of your skirt and call them capri pants.

Signed,

Devis-Dayton....the man of the House!











The fact that I can't fish the bash because my wife has her company breakfast should have no bearing on the above post