Thread: Know Your Crappie.com Members....User Profile: Shellquacker

Long long ago on the fertile Indiana prairie an egg lay, waiting for its' special moment. A crack appeared in the shell of the egg, then another. The tip of an egg tooth appeared and the shell fell open. So came our member Shellquacker into the world, son of an immigrant family of Dutch hash oil merchants. Young Quack was a mischievous lad from the very beginning, peeking up nuns' skirts and eating his diapers. At the tender age of 5 he made his presence in the world known by burning down the local Catholic church using flares stolen from the hardware store. After completing 1st grade
it was deemed young Quacks' education would best be gotten at a facility other than a school and he was quickly transferred to the State Reformitory in Gary, IN. There he excelled in such areas as lieing, cheating, and stealing.
It was at this stage in young Quackers' life that he developed a fondness for men, a trait which he has carried with him to this day.
Released from prison in time to celebrate his 18th birthday, young Quack set out to make a name for himself as a professional sheep shearer but alas, he had not the temperment for the job and was fired by sheepman after sheepman for beating up the lambs. Not to be downcast with his inability to fit into society, he set forth on a 20 yr rampage of booze, drugs, & women that crossed all 50 states and eventually led him to Yugoslavia, where he
stowed away on a freighter headed for Suffolk, VA. There he tried his hand as a commercial fisherman but was unable to catch a single fish, another trait that has carried over in life for him. One day while cleaning a bowfin someone else had caught for his supper he had a vision that included opening a nursery that raised saltmarsh cordgrass which could be sold at a profit to unsuspecting customers. He will be found there living the American Dream to this day, a reformed shell of a man, irritable, destitute, and sometimes suicidal.

Heres to Shellquacker, a man with a tainted past but a welcome member of our VA Forum.

Bud Lite salutes you Mr. saltmarsh cordgrass grower!

You left out my short lived stint of trying to sell satellite dishes to the Amish.
Who knew?

Quack, I guess you were taught the basics of fly rod fishing by your fellow Indianian Bobby Knight. He too went through a rough patch while living iin that land of hoops ,cars, and corn not to mention a few fields of hemp.

Gary Indiana? Is he the same SOB who kept stealing the ice cream and jello from the Hospice?