Thread: More ???'s for Wannabe

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13... Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17... If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21... Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25... Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?
__________________

Now your just tryin to confuse the poor boy,,,you know he ain't right...He'll be scratchin hos head or something on this post all day....

when he gets into work, give him a couple or 3 hors and he'll give ya an answer to ALL of them

I am truly waiting to see the response he has for this one

for sure

For My 2cent's Worth This Should Get Good

Ahem....

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

It depends on which appendage you put it on.


2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Well, cause calling the second had the day hand would be just plain silly.

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

I would tell you.

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

From the pictographs on the cave walls.

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

A whack is a) What you want to do to DD when you meet him or b) The state of DonDon's boat rigging i.e. DD's boat is just whack. To anwer the first question: Because if we said something is out of DonDon, it just doesn't sound right due to too many sylables, so I told Webster to shorten it.

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Most people are directionally challenged.

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

I'm pretty sure this was because Feelay was feeling descriminated against and filled a lawsuit.

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

You're assuming tug means to pull. Common mistake.

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Sigh. Because "We're already at the ball game" doesn't have the same lyrical flow.


10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

Because you're supposed to stand in them. You're just lazy.

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Get a watch and you won't have to address this one anymore.

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Yes.

13... Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

It's a secret and don't be a wise acre about it.

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

OK, I'm confused on this one too.

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

Hard for phonics teachers to make a living if they made it easy for the little school kids.

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

Who said work is terrific. I think the premise is what's throwing you off.

17... If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

They are in their deer stands. The whole world is lazy just like you.

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

On account of sex, Stewpit.

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Yes, if you hold the book upside down.

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Cause you there's only one snap in the back of a bra and you have to pull two legs out of a pair of panties. But then, I can understand why you didn't know that.

21... Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Because you don't have children to tell them to go change the channel for you.

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

I dunno, I don't have any garments nor any suits. Generally, I just wear regular clothes.

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Again, it's an economic stimulus type thing for spelling teachers.

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

This is gonna require an admission on everyone's part for you to fully understand. Raise your hand if you've ever rolled up a towel, put one hand on one end, the other on the other end, then stepped over the towel with one leg and went back and forth to get that hard to reach wet spot. You see how many hands are up? Now you'll understand when I tell you, we do it just to be on the safe side.

25... Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

It does, but the slightest movement causes it to reliquify.

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Because you set it in the corner.

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Wednesdays.

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

I've never driven anywhere with you. What are you talking about?


I'm just glad I was here to answer these questions for you Speck. What are you like 40 ish? That's a long time to go through life clueless and even though no one's bothered to tell you, it stopped being cute about the time you turned 13.

Wannabe...

THANKS FOR THE INPUT. YES, I'M 46 AND BEEN TOLD BY ALOT BETTER FOLKS THAN YOU THAT I'M CLUELESS. FURTHER MORE, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'm still darn cute.

And there ya go, we all know WB is back at work!

The worlds problems are solved!!!