Love your Spouse

[Crappie Reaper]

Folks,
I cannot put into words how important it is for one to realize the needs of their Spouse. My wife and I recently went through a very tough time which came very close to causing a divorce. With 6 children at home, the stress of everyday life, and the ruts we allow ourselves to fall into, I have realized just how important it is to give a bit more to my wife daily. We had been so caught up with everyday life, financial stress, kids fighting, etc, that we both were both guilty of not giving each other the support, and love that each of us need. I have basically retrained myself to put her needs first. She does not like to fish, so, my fishing will be cut down to a point. It will make the trips I take even more special. The money and time I have spent by myself on the water, will be better served making sure she is having some type of fun, other than work, laundry, yelling at the kids for fighting, etc. I am also guilty of spending too much time on the PC. Times when she is home, and I could be doing something with her, instead of having my attention tied up by a computer monitor. She needs a break and a change. I am going to make sure she gets it. I have been in love with my wife since I first saw her and thought that I would never stand a chance to be with someone so beautiful. I am going to make it a point to take her out at least twice a month from now on. We have older children to watch the younger ones while we are out and about.
I just wanted to share this with those of you who might be in a similar situation. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE before it becomes too late!

[crappieken]

Well stated Crappie Reaper!

[anchorpuller]

Your post touched my heart. I know, I am a sentimental woman, but to see a man put into words emotions and feelings like that is inspirational.
It sounds like you AND your wife got the best catch one can imagine. It sure sounds like the best "attractant" a wife could want.
I think we all tend to take our spouses for granted at times. Thanks for the reminder to let my husband know how MUCH he is appreciated and how lucky I am to have him.





Now... can I go fishin? hehehe

[Ranger375]

Echo
Have to totally agree with AP from the male side. I've been thru the divorce route before and I find myself forgetting how great it is to have some one who shares life with me on an equal level. We have no children (or step children) so with my being retired and her still working it makes it tough on her.

I'm printing off 'Reaper's' original post and posting it on my desk to remind me to be more appreciateive of her for putting up with me for 18 years of as tomorrow (Halloween)

[crappieseeker]

crappie reaper, me and my wife divorced for some of those same reasons, "along with a few more" We were smart enough to finally realize everything a little later in life. We got back together and remarried. I dont spend near as much time fishing as I did the first time around, but still do plenty. We both work, so I do my share of the house work, and we share all duties possible except yard work in the summer, which I do myself. We work 3 days a week, I give her 1 day to do as she wishes. She gives me one day to do as I wish. We spend one full day together as a family. We switch out the other day every other week with spending time with her immediate family one week, then mine the next. Sometimes she goes to hers alone and that gives me another day of fishing. Sometimes I go to my families alone and it gives her time. Sometimes we might skip a week and spend 2 full days together. I can still fish on her days too while our daughter is in school. So we get plenty of time to ourselves to unwind. We get time with our families. We get time together. We make decisions respectfully to one another, and try to put the other first. I go the extra mile to do more for my wife and have always tried to spoil her. We reap the benefits in our marriage now for the mistakes we made the first time and were able to correct from experience. Everyone is not that lucky to get a second chance, so we feel ours is special. Good to see your getting it right the first time, I dont wish divorce on anybody, not even if I had a bad enemy. Divorce is the corruption of our great nation. Much luck to you all with your families

[Mo'nBack]

CR; I just wanted to say that I know for sure that I've read the thread of a REAL MAN!!! My wife is also stretched thin with going to school at the age of 35, to be a RN. With a 11 yr old girl, 9 yr old boy and a 1yr old in a 46yr old body(ME!), I don't see how see does it. Homework and studies, cleans house, cooks, keeps up the bills, and tends to all our needs. There's times of crying and thinking that she'll never make it, and I try to let her know that WE will, but she's going through more than the rest of us. We try to help with the chores and stuff, but with me working shift work, it usually ends up being just her and I hate it. Like you I feel guilty hunting and fishing, but I do try to arrange all my stuff around her schedule. I'm sorry for rambling and writing an article in your thread, but I think I'll show it to her, cause at lot of the time it's the little things that help the most. Thank you friend!! Wish you and your family the BEST!!!!!

Ranger; The same goes for you and "HAPPY 18th!!"

[Crappie Reaper]

Kinda weird just how close our lives are Mo'n. I am 48, and my wife is 36. She is thinking of going back to school and I have told her that it's a good idea. That way, if something happens to me, or, we do end up apart. She will be able to have some kind of career that will strengthen her financially. I appreciate your words, so don't feel like you have intruded at all in this thread. It is meant for all. I am thankful that I did not let anger win the argument in my situation. We have a new begining together, and I plan to make the best of it. We have 6 children from 16 down to 3. You can imagine the chaos that goes on. The stress that my wife goes through. Dads have a way of "tuning out" all the noise that Moms hear loud and clear. You know what I am talking about when there are times that as a Father, you hear something that you KNOW needs your attention. One of my points is to step in more often than I have been. The power of a Stern Father at times is overwhelming. The right tone can place the fear of DAD in any child.
An example of what I mean is something I did last year Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart. A boy around age 8, shopping with his mother, was constantly blowing a horn he picked up off a shelf. His mother told him at least 10 times to stop blowing it and put it back. He continued to disobey and was definately hitting my last nerve. I finally looked at him, and said, "Boy, your mother told you to stop that and put it back on the shelf! Do it now!". LOL, the shock on his face, as well as his mothers. Other shoppers actually were applauding while the boy put the horn back. My wife was in a state of public embarassment. LOL
My point to this is, as dad, I need to step up more often, not only for the kids, but mainly for my wife. She is the most beautiful woman in the world to me and I am blessed to have her. She does a great job as Mom too! She deserves positive attention, and a break from her constant stress. I am the one to make sure she gets it. No matter how bad I might feel, wanna go fishing, etc, I plan to just suck it up, and do what's right for us. I would be absolutely nothing without my wife and children. I have been blessed in having them, now, I am going to do as much as I can to make my wife feel appreciated and loved.
Thanks for the encouraging words C.C people.
CR

[Mo'nBack]

My wife and I discussed our kids before we got married and decided mutually that she would stay at home until our kids got in school good and used to it. We were married 3yrs before our first was born and the wife waited until they were both above the second grade before she decided to go back to school. It's been harder for her because of being out so long, but we both are glad she waited, cause we didn't want someone else raising our kids and instilling in them values that weren't exactly ours. I couldn't be prouder of her and I offer her to go fishing every time I walk out, she loves it, but she has her mind set and is sticking with it. It's the hardest thing either of us has ever done, but it'll work. If your wife gets to the point that she decides to go back, then first talk to her and both of you need to understand that things are going to be different, and be sure to involve your kids and explain to them why and the rewards down the line. Sometimes kids are more understanding than we are! Mine have stepped up to the plate and it helps alot, not just the everyday things, but with the wife's state of mind also. I warn you that there will be alot of tears, loss of sleep, less money, and you'll hear quite regular "I'm quitting this, I can't take it anymore." I find myself telling her everyday she can do it and I always tell her that no one is making her go and she can quit if she wants. I tell her to take off a semester if she wants and go fishing, but with just 2 semesters left she won't. I'm just trying to tell you that it's hard, but just like everything else, if YOU and HER work together I think ya'll can do it. If she decides not go, then with ya'll's fresh attitude I believe you'll make it anyway.

Best of luck.

[J White]

Well guys, I'm glad for you if things are working out - as for me, my old
lady comes from an upbringing where the only thing that matters is
work, work, and more work. Anything besides work is friviolous and
un-necessary. Well, I've had enough of it. I'm gonna fish, fish, and fish,
I do work more than enough - enough for her to have stayed home with
the kids the last 9 years - but if it comes to it, like that country song,
if she's gone when I get home, I'm gonna miss her - Lookie there, I got a bite!

[crappieseeker]

Mo'n Back, your right about school, thats another thing that led to our marriages collapse the first time. She was in nursing school at the time. She was so stressed out and on the verge of losing it. She wanted to drop out many times. I was on the verge of losing it also. We collided on many things, and like reaper said, DAD here just tuned alot of things out when he could have helped out. It was hard on both of us and we just didnt support one another enough. Well, she didnt drop out, and we both have great jobs today and can reap the benefits from it. Glad to hear your wife is back in school, it's hard like you said, but rewarding when its said and done. I want to go back to school myself, but I'm not sure I can handle it. J White just hang in there buddy, is she hasnt went anywhere yet, it's likely she isnt going to. Love to you all.