Sign in a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary.. We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes.. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
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Yep,wrong button..some more signs
Don't worry Cook it took me Four with the Sofa King!
Whoo Nellie
Sofa King good stuff!
Yea, I figured it out in two reads!!
Crappiekiller3
Sittin here wishin I was out fishin!!!
i can identify with this one!
Crappie Fishing- Lots of Run...Sun...Fun...Catch a Ton...Or Didn't Get None!
Those are good!:D
There was this Norwegian who was on vacation 'over-there' in Florida. All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to buying a pair. Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price didn't help. Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep your lousy shoes. If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just told me." The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he heads out into the swamp.
After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. Both of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. That must be the Swedes the Norwegian thinks. Suddenly there's a movement in the water and an alligator swims towards one of the Swedes. The Swede is standing there like a statue, just waiting for the big gator to get closer. When the gator is close by the Swede sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. The Swede turns the gator on his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! No shoes on this one either!"
Crappie Fishing- Lots of Run...Sun...Fun...Catch a Ton...Or Didn't Get None!