Baked Beans

[crazy55]

Baked Beans - This is hilarious!


(This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be sure to grab
a tissue; I think you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry!)


One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it
became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and
gave
up
beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way
home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband
and
told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my
way, I
passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more
than I
could stand. With miles to walk, I f igured that I would walk
off
any
ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the
diner
and
before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed
delightedly:
'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner
table.
I
took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold,
the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold
until
he
returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was
out
of
the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg
and
let one go. It wa s not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer
truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took
my
napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The
stink
was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the
other
room,
I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the
air
a
few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded
my
hands
back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I ha d not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner
guests
seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Miller]

OMG!! that is funny

[wrwest]

Oh ya that IS a good one.

[roybuoy]

Got a good laugh from that one.hahahaha