Likes Likes:  0
Thanks Thanks:  0
HaHa HaHa:  0
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: info for the women libbers.....:)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    york county sc
    Posts
    13,930
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default info for the women libbers.....:)


    Men strike back!
    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
    Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    Build up the required pressure.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    ----------------------------------------------! -------- -------------
    listen with your eyes---its the only way to beleive what you hear...

  2. #2
    bigal Guest

    Default

    that is pretty funny,not sure i would tell my girlfriend those lol:p

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Bowling Green Kentucky
    Posts
    1,113
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Amen brother.....this is so true:D


    Quote Originally Posted by rango View Post
    Men strike back!
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    ----------------------------------------------! -------- -------------
    Take your kids hunting and fishing, and you won't be hunting your kids

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Washington NC
    Posts
    462
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    LMAO!!!!!!! Just sent it to my wife... Getting the blankets ready for the couch now....
    Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn. :rolleyes:

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Independence,MO
    Posts
    1,327
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Those are funny, for some reason my wife didn't think so.
    "Those who will trade a little liberty for a little security will lose both and deserve neither" Thomas Jefferson

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    N C
    Posts
    465
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    On a protective side note said the ladies:





    Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    A: They don’t stop and ask for directions.

    Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
    A: They all already have boyfriends.

    Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
    A: Both of them.

    Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
    A: A widow.

    Q: Why did the man cross the road?
    A: He heard the chicken was a slut.

    Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
    A: Not enough time.

    Q: How does a man prove his ability to plan for the future?
    A: By buying a case of beer.

    Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
    A: The bonds mature.

    Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
    A: So men can remember them.

    Q: When do you care for a man’s company?
    A: When he owns it.

    Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
    A: Put the remote control between his toes.

    Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
    A: They’re married.

    Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    A: We don’t know, it’s never happened.

    Q: Why are married women heavier than single Women?
    A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.
    Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    N C
    Posts
    465
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    wo new chemical elements have recently been discovered. Here for the first time is a description of their properties.

    Element Name: WOMAN

    Symbol: WO

    Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

    Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

    Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

    Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

    Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

    -----------

    Element Name: MAN

    Symbol: XY

    Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

    Physical properties: Solid at room temperature,but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

    Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time.

    Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

    Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Washington NC
    Posts
    462
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Lmao!!!!!
    Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn. :rolleyes:

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

BACK TO TOP