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Thread: two tales

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    rantoul, illinois
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    Default two tales


    >

    > Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

    >

    > 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted ! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    >

    > 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    >

    >

    > Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

    >

    > Day 983 of my captivity.

    >

    > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    > They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed

    > hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

    > rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to

    > keep up my strength. the only thing that keeps me going is my dream of

    > escape. In an attempt to disgust then, I once again vomit on the

    > carpet.

    >

    > Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

    > I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

    > demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

    > condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

    > Bastards!

    >

    > There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

    > placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,

    > I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

    > confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this

    > means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    >

    > Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

    > tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

    > this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    >

    > I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    > The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

    > seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    >

    > The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

    > guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

    > captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so

    > he is safe. For now...

    >

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Bowling Green Kentucky
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    Default

    This is so true!
    Last edited by CrappiePappy; 03-24-2008 at 02:40 AM.
    Take your kids hunting and fishing, and you won't be hunting your kids

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