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Thread: Unfair system gripes

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    Default Unfair system gripes


    You know I am happy to know there are programs out there to help people in need. However I am equally upset at the way the system works and how it benefits some people who do not need help, but yet disqualifies or works against people who do need help.

    I worked in the auto industry when it took the huge downturn. People were getting laid off and being offered buyouts. I was fortunate enough to be able to take a buyout. I will first state that I was not forced to take the buyout. However, not knowing how the market would end up and if the company did not get enough volunteers, the next possible move could have been a layoff with no money to the low seniority people.

    I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. My wife had filed for divorce and pulled what i think is a bankruptcy fraud and filed all her divorce decree ordered debts on bankruptcy. Considering my name could not be taken off the notes, I was left responsible for all the debt. While I was working, I could not file bankruptcy because under the new laws I made too much to file a chapter 7. Due to not wanting to file bankruptcy and not knowing the future actions the company might take, I took the buyout money to pay off those debts and to try and go to school to find a more stable career.

    The company has paid for my and my daughters healthcare for a year after my release from the company, however it is about to run out. I have been going to college to try and get a better job, however I have also put in several applications for jobs to try and get back into the workforce, but with no success.

    My divorce decree requires me to pay child support and it requires me to keep insurance on my child. I am not working and due to having to cover marital debts with the money I received, I have just enough left to get me by for a while. My child support is not very high and I have managed to only get a little behind. However affordable insurance is not available to me. My ex wife is an RN and makes around 25 an hour. When I got a little behind on my child support, she went to DHR for free and got a court hearing about my child support. They told me to keep my payments up or i would be put in jail. I asked that day to have my support obligations modified because i was not working. The DA told me that the judge could not modify the order that was already in place because it was ordered from a judge when we lived in TN but we now live in Alabama. He said the court could only uphold the order. I said you mean to tell me that someone who makes 25 an hour can come get help through DHR for free and someone who is not working has to go pay a lawyer 200 an hour or better to represent you and go back to court. So then DHR sent me a modification application in the mail to set up a new court date for modification, which I do not know why they did not do that day. However it wants to know how much your last taxes and all that was. I am afraid with the buyout money I received, they will base it off that, which would not be fair considering I have not worked in a year and because I had to pay off her marital debts she filed on bankruptcy. I know it is important to pay child support, but it is also important to allow a man the means to pay it, and her filing bankruptcy put me in a bad situation and took away my means of paying. The system should know the economy is bad and that I just cant go out and find any job to get by on.

    My support obligation is not much and I do not mind paying it, but the insurance I am ordered to keep is what my real beef is. Once again, I tried to get help with this. I called the Alabama Medicaid program and asked if I could get medicaid for my child since I have not worked in a year and was ordered by the court to keep it on her. They said no, that the child had to be living with me. So I said you mean to tell me if her mom needed the help just because she was living with her that she could get it, but I cannot get it. She said thats the way it is. Well with her mom making good money she cannot get it on her, and her mom will not pay for it because she is not ordered too. This leaves me once again being screwed by an unfair system.

    Like I said, I know there are a lot of people who get help that need it, but there are jsut as many who do not need help that get it over others that do need it. Sorry this was so long, just had to vent

  2. #2
    Cane Pole's Avatar
    Cane Pole is offline Crappie.com 2011 Man of the Year * Crappie.com Supporter
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    Nothing is written blood. Go on line and look up Tennessee child support guidelines. You can probably find something here.

    I am not a lawyer. Lawyers suck. They'll take yo money and yo honey.

    Contact a lawyer.:o
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    who cheated on who? i always like to ask.
    incognito....... here fishy fishy fishy

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    Cane Pole's Avatar
    Cane Pole is offline Crappie.com 2011 Man of the Year * Crappie.com Supporter
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    Quote Originally Posted by popperonahead View Post
    who cheated on who? i always like to ask.
    You devil.:D
    Member BS Pro-Staff and Billbob Pro-Staff
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cane Pole View Post
    You devil.:D

    it is a valid question. i don't want to misdirect any sympathy. :p
    incognito....... here fishy fishy fishy

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    Okay, I will go ahead and admit my stupidity for marrying her for a second time, she did me pretty dirty the first time. We were divorced for about 5 years when she decided or told me she made a mistake. I was very hesitant but for some stupid reason believed she had changed. The ultimate decision was in the fact that my daughter was still young and wanted her family back together. I loved my child and missed her daily presence so much that it hurt terribly. She pulled at Daddy's heart strings to make things work. So I gave it a chance. Well the ex decided after a few years that she still was not happy. So she wanted another divorce. No cheating, just the fact that she is a gold digger and only cares for herself. Any parent who would take away from another kids parent when they have plenty and the other parent has nothing, should be ashamed. I do not have the means to provide anything for my child, and her mother should not take from me what lilttle I have, just so she can have a new purse or new designer clothes every week. I deserve the right to have things here for my daughter when she is with me as well. I guess it is like all other things, take from the poor to give to the rich. not that she is rich, but by far better off than I am.

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    azslabber's Avatar
    azslabber is offline Crappie.com 2K Star General * Crappie.com Supporter
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    The old adage is true,the only one that you can change,is yourself.If you search in the correct places you will find a good answer to help you out in your time of need.Keep lookin,HARD.Nobody just gives in and will help you,but,when you find the outfit that you need to,it will be there,and you will be saying that you have passed it by ,so,many times.Hope the best for you.
    "Garden Hackler"lol

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    i wish you the best. the system is skewed against men so hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. good luck and maybe you'll get lucky and a peterbuilt will take care of your problems with the ex. :D
    incognito....... here fishy fishy fishy

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    azslabber, I am a little confused at what you are referring too. Are you silently implying that i should just pray about it and let God handle the situation? I otherwise do not know the correct places you are referring too. I have talked to several lawyers, which will not give much advice without money, and most of them just say I am pretty much screwed. I dont know. Thanks for the well wishes though.

    popper, I have sometimes thought of the peterbuilt and similar situations, however I have to ask for forgiveness after those thoughts. I would not wish anything like that only for my daughters sake, because that is her mother, i know I would not want anyone wishing that on my mother, but I definately feel what you mentioned at times

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    Quote Originally Posted by crappieseeker View Post
    azslabber, I am a little confused at what you are referring too. Are you silently implying that i should just pray about it and let God handle the situation?
    I am no lawyer. But, I am plenty stupid when it comes to women. Matter of fact, I think I could make some money telling people how stupid I am dealing with women. I could write books and do seminars.
    I worked real hard to get my wife's affection before we were married 6 years ago. She even told me what a pain in the butt she is. She didn't say it like that, but, I was so naieve (SP) I didn't catch on.
    I think you should pray about this. But, you need to pray for God's Will. How do you think he would want you to handel this? I am going to bite a little here...
    Everyman gets the first mistake I think. After that, if you keep going back shame on you. Did you seek God's will the second go around? Or, did you give into your own lonliness? I often think back at how I got myself into the mess I am in now. It is because I followed my own Will and didn't seek God's. Lonliness guided me too. However, I am not saying to pray then sit back and see what happens.
    The system is corrupted to the point it is not fair to all. So, I don't think you will get complete help that you want or need. It sounds to me that your X is just mean enough to let your daughter go unprotected just to keep your feet to the fire. She has you man. Do what ever it takes to keep your daughter protected. If she is getting some other type of aid from you, $15 per month might keep your fanny out of the calaboose. Again I ain't a lawyer. But, I have kept the collectors at bay with that system before.
    DP
    I am a heterosexual male. 2 Chronicles 7:14
    "If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

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